Trying Too Hard

Biblically, life’s changing character is pitched positively, for without change, we do not develop and grow.  Thus, life is intentionally seasonal, with the time of our life segmented into increments and chapters.  The classic words of Ecclesiastes 3 clarify:  

"There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven -- A time to be born and a time to die…A time to tear down and a time to build up.  A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance…A time to keep and a time to throw away…A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, The Amplified Bible).  

We never grasp this godly rhythm of time, unless we grasp that for God, time does not stand still.  Rather, time progresses and moves through a series of beginnings and endings.  The result: a mixed bag of life experience that involves not only birth, maturation, and progress – but also – loss, interruptions, and failure.   

The Hebrew people needed to be reminded of these varied outcomes, for the Hebrew people, thought they could control outcomes if they took enough of life “into their own hands.”  In essence, this is what the Book of Proverbs taught.  Proverbs 31 summarizes such sentiment.  Why the valiant person pictured here, has a seamless life, largely because of great effort, as she 

“...works with eager hands…” (Proverbs 31:13), getting up “…while it is still night…” (Proverbs 31:15), considering “…a field and [buying] it…” (Proverbs 31:16), seeing “…that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night…”  (Proverbs 31:18)…” She makes linen garments and sells them...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come…”  (Proverbs 31:24+25).

But the writer of Ecclesiastes counters: we dare not laugh at the days to come.  For life is not controlled by our diligence but God’s design, and God’s design allows not only for seasons that are seamless but seasons that are seemly; in fact there is “…a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven…”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1).   Thus as C. L. Seow reflects:

"The rhythmic character of the catalogue [of times and seasons] gives the initial impression of a discernible pattern.  Yet, the pattern [is really elusive]…[for Ecclesiastes 3:1ff] is not about moments that people choose.  It concerns events that people encounter in life, those that just happen whether one is ready or not…[for] is God who determines the timing of events.  The deity has imbued humanity with a recognition of the eternal…that which is not limited by time – but mortals can only respond moment by moment.  So…enjoyment of the moment is urged.  People are inclined to pursue that which they cannot grasp, but that is not their place to do.  Instead it is God who will see what is pursued…That is, all the all the vain pursuits that occupy human minds should be left to God….”  (emphasis added)        

Now this is not to suggest, that diligence is not required on our part; discipleship requires contribution.  But contribution that strives to control is catastrophic.  That’s the concern of the writer of Ecclesiastes; he senses persons striving to control.  

I frankly have done just that on more than one occasion.  I remember attempting to woe back my college sweetheart after a broken engagement.  Fretting, not praying, I mounted a ‘full court press’ to re-engage our relationship. One problem:  I was in graduate school in California, and she was teaching elementary school in Maryland.  Well, given the challenge, I sharpened my strategy, resolving to win my sweetheart back through her parents, remembering the bearing they had on her life.   

And so I sent her parents a passionate letter tucked in a syrupy appreciation card, accompanied by a pricey bouquet of flowers and a heart-felt long-distance phone call, placed after my persuasive gifts had arrived.   And so I placed the call, but got confused regarding time zones, calling at 8 pm 'California time' not remembering it was 11 p.m.  'Washington, DC time' – getting my former fiance’s folks out of a restful slumber.  The run of the conversation was predictable, blowing us at regular intervals, but the gist of the exchange was numbing:  “the relationship is over Paul, accept it; Paul you’re trying too hard.”

For most of my life, I’ve tried too hard.   Rather than flowing with God’s rhythm:  “…there a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven…”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1) – I have fought Gods rhythm, avoiding God-appointed beginnings and endings, times and seasons – indeed, trying too hard.   

In all candor, it’s often a tough call to determine when we’re ‘not trying enough’ – and – when we’re ‘trying too hard’ – but if we do more praying than fretting, a more confident discernment is possible!