Amy Butler is a favorite preacher. And so, most weeks I try to 'catch' her sermon from the famed Riverside Church, in New York City.
This past week Amy finished up her series on the Sermon On The Mount, focusing on 'the hardest commandment,' as she phrased it -- the love of enemies. Amy's premise: until we learn to love even the hardest folk -- even our enemies -- we will always be tempted to retaliate toward a lot of folk, seeking to 'settle the score,' to 'get even.'
As Amy 'preached away,' she documented the necessity of grappling with 'the hardest commandment,' for unless we find a way to love our enemy -- rather than 'lynch' our enemy -- the cycle of violence and destruction will just escalate.
To document, Amy included a striking quote from Christian activist, Shane Claiborne. "...Things [do] escalate. A shock and awe bombing leads to a shock and awe beheading. A Pearl Harbor leads to a Hiroshima. A murder leads to an execution. A rude look leads to a cold shoulder..." (Shane Claiborne. The Irresistible Revolution. Living As An Ordinary Radical (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2006), p. 254
To document, Amy included a striking quote from Christian activist, Shane Claiborne. "...Things [do] escalate. A shock and awe bombing leads to a shock and awe beheading. A Pearl Harbor leads to a Hiroshima. A murder leads to an execution. A rude look leads to a cold shoulder..." (Shane Claiborne. The Irresistible Revolution. Living As An Ordinary Radical (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2006), p. 254
Wow, that is so true! And so a question comes quickly to mind: who will break the cycle?
'The cycle' is all over the news. Frankly, it's a major 'feed' of our political system -- as politics has essentially become a never-ending grudge match -- with politicians of all stripes -- taking turns 'getting back' and 'flinging dirt.' Years ago, we had political leaders like Mark Hatfield, John Anderson, and Harold Hughes who we're effective, in many instances, in 'breaking the cycle' -- but their 'stripe' is in 'short supply.' (for more on the most high profile grudge match, see my blog entry:http://wwwpaulmundey.blogspot.com/2016/10/the-wounds-that-drive-us.html?spref=fb)
But enough politics. Let's 'drive this home' and make it personal. They cycle of retribution is all over the pattern of our days. Translated: we hold grudges, finding it difficult to settle differences without 'blood'' -- without some form of 'payback.'
Growing up, the symbol of 'payback' was the spite fence. Why if a neighbor in Halfway, MD was wronged by another neighbor he would literally put up a fence, a spite fence, as ‘high as high can be’ and not talk to the neighbor, in some cases, for years.
But spite fences are not necessary. Because of God’s power in Christ, we can jettison bitter memory and retaliation, nevertheless. Returning to the Sermon On The Mount, Jesus is explicit.
“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. (Matthew 5:38-42, The Message).
Repulsed yet? Hard stuff, isn't it!
You see: the Lord is not only our Shepherd, the Lord is also our Provoker -- literally prodding us -- exhorting us -- to do the unthinkable, which in reality is the Godly -- for God declares unequivocally -- our normal,' intuitive, reflex thoughts, are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).
So think new thoughts -- develop new reflexes -- start new cycles -- beyond the cycle of 'pay-back' and violence.
You see: the Lord is not only our Shepherd, the Lord is also our Provoker -- literally prodding us -- exhorting us -- to do the unthinkable, which in reality is the Godly -- for God declares unequivocally -- our normal,' intuitive, reflex thoughts, are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).
So think new thoughts -- develop new reflexes -- start new cycles -- beyond the cycle of 'pay-back' and violence.
Jesus suggests in the scripture just noted, one new cycle might be a cycle of servanthood and generosity.
Just last week, our daughter in law Katie, got wonderful news: she successfully secured an internship (a required part of completing her Ph.D. program in psychology) at a major medical center in the U.S. Reaching out to a friend, near Katie's placement, I asked whether he might be able to help orient Katie and our son Peter to a part of the country they had never frequented. Frankly, I thought he might pass along contact information for the local Chamber of Commerce, or some other basic information. Instead, he sent along a series of extended text messages:
Just last week, our daughter in law Katie, got wonderful news: she successfully secured an internship (a required part of completing her Ph.D. program in psychology) at a major medical center in the U.S. Reaching out to a friend, near Katie's placement, I asked whether he might be able to help orient Katie and our son Peter to a part of the country they had never frequented. Frankly, I thought he might pass along contact information for the local Chamber of Commerce, or some other basic information. Instead, he sent along a series of extended text messages:
I guess you could say, my friend is 'evening the score '-- but not toward spite, but servanthood. 'You were a servant to me,' he infers - 'and now it's my honor to be a servant to you, and your kids.'"One of the guys I mentor [works at the medical center]. He is a super Christian guy...[I'll make an introduction...[My wife] and I would be happy to meet your [daughter in law and son] and help...[in] any way we can...I love to be [in] service...[For] that is what friends do for friends. And that is what brothers do for brothers! It will be a pleasure to serve you and to serve [your kids]...Let's use my [personal] e-mail...And please give [your kids] my cell number...Tell them to feel free to use any and all methods to communicate, and ask for any kind of assistance they might need. Where to live, where to eat, where to shop, how to understand [our state]. You name it, we are here to help...I am just trying to live like Jesus tells us to do. You are a friend too, this is what friends do for friends. I remember you dropping what you were doing and taking me and my friend...to dinner. Now it is my turn to return the favor..."
Can you begin to imagine how perpetuating this cycle would change the world?
Incredible!
But it can happen. Some suggestions:
- Change your vocabulary -- saying more frequently (or perhaps for the first time): 'you name it -- I am here to help!'
- 'Pay it forward ' -- literally paying the toll of the person behind you on the turnpike -- picking up the check for a stress-filled family at a restaurant.
- Take the first step in resolving a conflict -- by being the first to apologize for whatever part you played in a dispute.
- Volunteer at a ministry serving the most unsettled folk in society -- prisoners -- the poor -- the homeless -- the handicapped -- persons who feel 'left out,' forgotten, marginalized.
- Reconsider your views on immigration -- yes, prioritizing safety and security for our land -- but also prioritizing welcome for persons who legitimately and legally - need a new home. To that end, consider placing a sign of welcome -- for all neighbors - in your front lawn. See the following link to secure such a sign. https://www.facebook.com/welcomeyourneighbors/?fref=ts
What cycle will we break? What cycle will we foster?
Jesus' preference is clear: "...no more tit-for-tat stuff [of the negative kind]. Live generously. (Matthew 5:42, The Message).
Paul - I love this. So spot on. Too often we want to "get back" at someone, or even just have them humble themselves and apologize when we may never get that, so why turn a cold shoulder until we do? Love of enemies is a hard thing, but I think one that has to shape who we are as citizens of God's kingdom.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I wonder how you think this might work out in terms of folks who are legitimately wronged or--might we even say--abused? In other words, how does enemy-love work when you are in the midst of a situation and being wronged by someone? Certainly turn the other cheek, but if one is continually being hit (literally or metaphorically)? A second question that I often wrestle with: what about when we are watching someone else be wronged? How does love of enemy work in that situation?
So sorry for the delay Calvin! Never knew 'the writing life' could be so full. I pasted in your comment -- and made a beginning reply:
DeleteCALVIN: "However, I wonder how you think this might work out in terms of folks who are legitimately wronged or--might we even say--abused? In other words, how does enemy-love work when you are in the midst of a situation and being wronged by someone? Certainly turn the other cheek, but if one is continually being hit (literally or metaphorically)? "
PAUL: In a phrase: distance without divorcing. Certainly, in terms of abuse, distance is a non-negotiable. But also key, is not divorcing; e.g. not breaking the relationship. That's the scandal of the gospel -- in play --even in the most severe instances of violence. At a God-ordained time, then, one puts into motion Matthew 18:15ff -- confronting even one's enemy. This is where the discipline of non-violence/negotiation/peace-building (e.g. Martin Luther King, Notre Dame's Kroc Institute For International Peace Studies, et. al) must be advanced, as readily, as we advance conventional weaponry. A great example of this actually being lived out is in Rwanda, a reconciliation model I lifted up in an earlier blog post (just search for Rwanda in the search engine on this blog, and it should pop up).
CALVIN: "A second question that I often wrestle with: what about when we are watching someone else be wronged? How does love of enemy work in that situation?"
PAUL: Intervention and justice is key, in the spirit of Micah 6:8 -- "Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8, ESV). I love the balance in this text between a clear call for justice, with the tone of kindness and humility. For me, intervention would again take the route of Matthew 18:15ff, which I have found to be the most brilliant model for practically confronting 'the worst of the worst.'
A last result, in all this, is indeed, 'divorce.' There is, of course, scripture justification, such as Titus 3:10-11 "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned. (Titus 3:10-11). But in the context of a living peace church, I see this as a last resort.
With that said: I must admit that I am more convinced than ever there are persons with such hard hearts, and naricissitic hard-wiring, that there is no prospect of reason, repentance or reconciliation. Thus, sadly, there are times when we need to have nothing more to do with them (Titus 3:10) -- shake the dust off our feet (Matthew 10:14) -- and "treat them as you would a pagan or tax collector." (Matthew 18:17).
My only caveat, is that we tend to go the route of divorce, far too quickly. It is a final option (after a reasonable/prayerful period of concerted reconciliation ) -- rather the line of first resort. When we go too quickly toward divorce -- breaking relationship -- the prospect of violence heights dramatically, and often, tragically.
Well, these are some early thoughts.
Let's keep the dialogue going!
Blessings, Calvin.
All good thoughts, Paul. I think distance is important, but sometimes hard to achieve. I think here of students facing bullies in school where they are forced to be in proximity to those bullies daily, or of cyber bullying where such things follow them home. There are ways to achieve distance in those situations, but sometimes much more difficult than it first appears. Another complicating factor is that while the person being bullied may want to embody Jesus' commands about enemy love and peacemaking, the bully does not necessarily feel the same way.
DeleteNone of this is to say that enemy love and nonviolence doesn't work. Just that it is incredibly difficult. Living out all of this is a complex task, to say the least.