How To Avoid A 'Food-Fight'

Wednesday morning, I heard Jeff Flake, Republican of Arizona -- and -- Chris Coons, Democrat of Delaware, dialogue on the Today Show.

Notice, I said dialogue.  I mean of late, opposing politicians, e.g., Republican and Democrats, have only been screaming at each other.  But Flake and Coons are determined to counter such behavior.

As Jeff Flake noted:  the Judiciary Committee hearing last Thursday, in particular, was essentially a "...a food-fight between the [two] parties..."  But I'm convinced, Flake went on to say:  "...we can do better than this..." 

I concur.  Not only in our political debate -- but also -- in our family debate, friendship debate -- and yes -- church debate.  For some reason, there seems to be a rise in a 'food-fight' mentality and style, that is, frankly, ripping families, friendships, nations, and yes, churches apart.

This, in part, is because the level of anger and distrust between 'opposing' ideologies/theologies is at record levels, at least, in recent memory.  Reflecting on the moral outrage in rural America, for example, sociologist Robert Wuthnow believes it's rooted in a sense that their "...moral communities are under siege...[and]...when a moral order begins to crumble, the implications run wider and deeper.  Its slide diminishes trust while bolstering protective energies.  Asking "How can the problems be solved?" leads to questions about who is to blame..."  (Robert Wuthnow.  The Left Behind.  Decline and Rage In Rural America.  Princeton:  Princeton University Press, 2018, p. 7)   

And the blaming, I contend, leads to a 'food-fight' way of relating, that flings whatever might "stick" and injury, in the direction of their opponent.  

A prime motivator for our blame, shame and maim is our perception -- on both the 'left and right' -- that the moral order is crumbling because morality itself is crumbling.  For example, for those in rural America, who tend to be conservative, there is a general sense that 

"...sexual promiscuity portrayed by Hollywood, the availability of pornography on the Internet, and the growing prevalence of crude language on television...[are all part of the] moral decline [threatening]...their communities..."  Robert Wuthnow.  The Left Behind.  Decline and Rage In Rural America.  Princeton:  Princeton University Press, 2018, p. 116)   

And that's just for starters.  As Robert Wuthnow goes onto recount, there are a plethora of other issues, provoking many conservative folks to believe morality is ebbing, most prominent, the perceived sanctioning of abortion and homosexual praxis/marriage.   Robert Wuthnow.  The Left Behind.  Decline and Rage In Rural America.  Princeton:  Princeton University Press, 2018, p. 122-136).   

On 'the left,' more progressive, liberal folk also sense a crumbling of morality.  But not because we are failing to 'conserve' the established/traditional/orthodox, but because we are failing to risk the prophetic and counter-cultural.  As Rachel Held Evans has observed: 

“...We religious types are really good at building walls and retreating to temples. We’re good at making mountains out of our ideologies, obstructions out of our theologies, and hills out of our screwed-up notions of who’s in and who’s out, who’s worthy and who’s unworthy. We’re good at getting in the way. Perhaps we’re afraid that if we move, God might use people and methods we don’t approve of, that rules will be broken and theologies questioned. Perhaps we’re afraid that if we get out of the way, this grace thing might get out of hand. Well, guess what? It already has. Grace got out of hand the moment the God of the universe hung on a Roman cross and with outstretched hands looked out upon those who had hung him there and declared, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do...”  Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving and Finding the Church.  Nashville:  Thomas Nelson, p. 39-40)

Well, you get the point:  there is plenty of anger and rage on 'all sides.'  But is there a way forward?  Let me suggest starting points, that are far from exhaustive, but suggestive of what might encourage the 'food fight' to wane.  

Starting-Point #1 - Stay True To Your Convictions, But Never Assume You Are 'God.'   

I tend to be strongly opinionated.  Thus, I have strong convictions and present them forcefully, to be convincing.  However, at times, I can present my convictions as if I'm Omniscient, as if, I am God.

No, don't misunderstand: we can know the Word of God (Psalm 19:7-8).  But we must never convey our word/s about God's Word -- as if our words -- are the last, conclusive, final, never-to-debated -- Word.  

Only God, as the Author of The Word, can -- or should -- have the last Word.  

Translated: we need to leave room and space -- always -- for the Author of the Word, God, to speak for God's-Self.  

I believe God speaks best, in community.  For God speaks best not just to one of us, but to all of us as God's gathered people.  https://bibledude.life/interpreting-the-bible-in-community/

For each of us are embedded in a cultural locale that can eschew our awareness of God's Word, without the larger perspective and context, of God's People.  As D.A. Carson helpfully observes: 

"...Does our Western culture place so much stress on individualism that we find it hard to perceive, not only the biblical emphasis on the family and on the body of the church, but also the ways in which God judges entire cultures and nations for the accumulating corruptions of her people...Do we overlook some of the ―hard sayings about poverty simply because most of us live in relative wealth?..."  https://verticallivingministries.com/2012/06/14/dr-d-a-carson-on-12-principles-of-biblical-interpretation/  

So yes, state persuasively your convictions about God's Word. Resolve is required.  Please hear this!  https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/ray-ortlund/but-thats-just-your-interpretation/   But express your convictions, soaked in humility, conveying, ultimately, "God Only Knows."

Translated:  convey "...here's my strong sentiment.  But here's, also, my strong surrender to God as the Last Word, the only One who ultimately knows, the only One, Omniscient."

Starting-Point #2 -- Resist The Temptation To Label Persons, And Call Them Names

You know you're in an ideological/theological food-fight when the "labels and names" start to fly.  

For example, progressives label conservatives "neanderthals" (or worst) -- and conservatives label progressives "morons" (or worst).  And those are just the names I can print in a public blog!  

But on our saner days, most know, that labels and name-calling are woefully counter-productive.  Why, in reality, they're deeply insulting and far from accurate in truly describing who we really are. In that regard, I've always been touched by the anonymous poem, discovered by a nurse in a geriatric ward, after a resident died.

“…What do you see, nurses, what do you see? [What] are you thinking, when you look at me? A crabby old woman…who dribbles her food and makes no reply…I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother…a young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet...A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap…[Now] the body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart…But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, And now and again my battered heart swells…Not a crabby old woman -- look closer, nurses — see ME!...” 

Translated:  behind every label (e.g., old/young; Democrat/Republican; rich/poor) is a person who's true and full identity is far more than the cultural/ideological/theological label we've affixed to that individual.

For behind any label, is the only label that we should affix to any person who has bonded with Christ/ Christ's Body/Christ's Kingdom: child of God, part of the people of God.

For, if we choose Christ, and Christ's Reign -- whether Hispanic or White, Russian or American, Urban or Rural, Orthodox or Progressive -- we are ultimately...

“…God’s “chosen generation”, his “royal priesthood”, his “holy nation”, his “peculiar people”—all the old titles of God’s people now belong to you. It is for you now to demonstrate the goodness of him who has called you out of darkness into his amazing light. In the past you were not “a people” at all: now you are the people of God. In the past you had no experience of his mercy, but now it is intimately yours…”  (1 Peter 2:8-10, The Message).

Again, this is not a call to surrender conviction/s.  Please hear me; we need to speak truth as best we discern and perceive it.

But it is also a call to show mercy -- as we've been shown mercy -- to surrender a mean-spirited, demeaning vocabulary -- that jabs folks with self-righteous, judgmental, arrogant, holier than thou assumptions.

Starting Place #3 -- Seek First To Understand, Than To Be Understood

I wish this 'starting-point' was original with me.  It's not.  It was first coined by Stephen Covey, in his classic, The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People.  In essence, the principle, in Covey's words assumes:

"...a very deep shift in paradigms.  We typically seek first to be understood.  Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent ot reply.  They're either speaking or preparing to speak.  They're...reading their autobiography into other people's lives...They prescribe their own glasses for everyone with whom they interact..."  Stephen Covey.  The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  New York:  Firestone, 1989, p. 239).   

The result of not requiring everyone to wear our eyeglasses -- of seeking first to understand, than to be understood -- is the surprising discovery, that the other person's prescription actually has more validity than I first realized.  

Thus, I have more in common with that 'opposing person' than I initially assumed -- or -- admitted.  

For that reason -- even without changing our core, differing convictions -- we discover there's a lot we can build on even in adversarial relationships -- nevertheless -- in regards to an adventurous future, for whatever group or cause we seek to advance.    

In January 2013, Pastor Adam Hamilton encouraged the U.S. political system to do just that; he did so, through a sermon at a prayer service, prior to the second inaugural of Barak Obama. 

"...With our two party system, we’re regularly offered two competing visions for America...To many Americans, we feel like “a house divided that cannot stand.”  The Book of Proverbs notes that, “without a vision the people perish.” Modern translates say, “they cast off restraint.”  They don’t literally perish, they just bicker and fight and find themselves polarized and directionless... 

...What most Americans long for is to find common ground...In this room, are the people who can change this...I offer one small example. At the church I serve we have a vision of addressing the root causes of poverty in Kansas City so that our city looks more like the Kingdom of God that Jesus so passionately preached...We came as servants – not as saviors. We looked for ways to partner and to help the schools do what they could not do otherwise. 

We repainted the schools, built playgrounds where there had only been empty blacktop.  We provided school supplies and winter coats to each child. Our members volunteered as tutors to read to children...[In sum, our] congregation [helped] children have a future with hope.  [And so, this past] Christmas Eve...they gave $1,235,000 towards this vision...That's the power of [finding common ground].  And though the church I serve is made up of Democrats and Republicans, of conservatives and liberals, we’re united by [this vision, this common ground]..." (emphasis added). http://unitedmethodistreporter.com/2013/01/22/adam-hamiltons-sermon-at-todays-national-prayer-service/ 

And so, instead of "flinging food," we are called to take-up paint brushes -- round-up winter coats -- and purchase school supplies -- working together -- on what we do (surprise, surprise!) agree on -- on convictions we do hold in common

Sure, we'll still be different and yes, disagree.  Returning to our opening news-story:  Jeff Flake will stay a conservative Republican, and Chris Coons will stay a liberal Democrat.

But that doesn't mean they need to be mortal enemies.

And neither do we need to stay enemies with our adversary and foe.  For like, Flake and Coon, we too can find common ground -- and move forward, nevertheless.

This is not to minimize the critical issues of our faith and day, Please hear me.

But it is a call for us to stay humble, even as we pursue clarity and Truth -- reframing our life together with the civility of God...

...A God who does long to have -- the last Word.