Jealousy begins with a lie: there's not enough for me.
A number of years ago, when I ate more heavily (age demands I now go lean!) I loved the Sunday buffet at the former Mealeys, in New Market, MD. Because of the buffet's popularity, however, Mealeys sometimes ran out of food, temporarily. And so on more than one occasion, as I approached the Mealey's buffet and went for my favorite entree, I opened the lid on the steam table and nothing was there! Oh the staff assured me: more’s on the way! But at that moment it felt like I’ve been gypped: 'there’s no food for me!'
A lot of us feel: there’s no food for me. Oh, people keep telling us food, opportunity, is on the way. But it feels like we’re getting gypped.
Cain felt like he was being gypped. Genesis 4, tells the story.
The lesson: you head out of Eden, away from God, when you 'take matters into your own hands,' succumbing to anger and jealousy
For jealousy doesn’t just burn, it destroys in right doses. Ellen Lombard of Fairmont, New York manufactures horseradish; in fact, four varieties of horseradish: Hot, X Hot, XX Hot, and Too Darn Hot. A while back, Ellen accidentally spilled a quart and a half of her secret ingredient in the basement. Initially, Ellen opened a window and plugged in a fan. No relief. Then Ellen called 911 and the firefighters. No relief. Finally, Ellen called the Onondaga County Hazardous Materials Unit. Only then did Ellen get relief. You see, the liquid spice in horseradish is life-threatening if inhaled in large amounts.
Cain felt like he was being gypped. Genesis 4, tells the story.
“Now Abel kept flocks and Cain worked the soil. [Now]…Cain brought…the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel [his brother, cut corners and] brought fat portions from…his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel…So Cain got angry, [jealous of Abel]…And while in [a] field…attacked his brother…and killed him…The Lord said: what have you done?…Now you are under a curse…So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.” (Genesis 4:2-16, emphasis added).
For jealousy doesn’t just burn, it destroys in right doses. Ellen Lombard of Fairmont, New York manufactures horseradish; in fact, four varieties of horseradish: Hot, X Hot, XX Hot, and Too Darn Hot. A while back, Ellen accidentally spilled a quart and a half of her secret ingredient in the basement. Initially, Ellen opened a window and plugged in a fan. No relief. Then Ellen called 911 and the firefighters. No relief. Finally, Ellen called the Onondaga County Hazardous Materials Unit. Only then did Ellen get relief. You see, the liquid spice in horseradish is life-threatening if inhaled in large amounts.
So too with jealousy. Inhaled in large quantities, it too is life-threatening, destroying life.
It's interesting to see Job's friends guiding him away from jealousy's deadly consequence.
“Your beginnings…seem humble…” Bildad tells him in Job 8. “…[But] prosperous…your future [will] be…Life withers away…[but]…God does not reject a blameless man….He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy…” (Job 8:7-21).
Isn’t that good news? God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with joy. It’s just a matter of time, God’s time. And God always comes through, according to our deepest needs.
A way forward: obsess on your next gain, not the gain of others. It’s ironic: in spite of God’s promises, we stay stuck in jealousy, mired in an obsession, a fixation – a brooding – over the looks, degrees, and success of others.
But what if we took that same emotion and invested in our success; what if we took the same energy and channeled it into our advancement?
But what if we took that same emotion and invested in our success; what if we took the same energy and channeled it into our advancement?
I’ve always pitied the Wicked Queen in Disney’s Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. Remember her? Every day she had the same drill: starring in the mirror, and asking the same question: "mirror, mirror on the wall, 'who’s the fairest one of all'?" And the mirror always gave the same reply: “Vain is your beauty majesty. But, oh, a lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair than thee.”
Well, did the queen ‘let go’ and face the music? No. She became enraged, totally consumed with jealousy toward Snow White.
But did it ever occur to you: what if the Wicked Queen had done something different. What if she had called ‘fashion emergency’ or some other ‘makeover’ enterprise? What if, rather than starring in the mirror and obsessing on Snow White, she'd faced what was in the mirror and done something about it! You know: went to a beauty salon, and got a facial -- or a manicure -- a color change -- or a full body treatment!
Get the point? Jealously ebbs when we obsess on ways we can indeed advance, rather than obsessing on the advancement of others.
Paul alludes to this in 2 Timothy 1:
Well, did the queen ‘let go’ and face the music? No. She became enraged, totally consumed with jealousy toward Snow White.
But did it ever occur to you: what if the Wicked Queen had done something different. What if she had called ‘fashion emergency’ or some other ‘makeover’ enterprise? What if, rather than starring in the mirror and obsessing on Snow White, she'd faced what was in the mirror and done something about it! You know: went to a beauty salon, and got a facial -- or a manicure -- a color change -- or a full body treatment!
Get the point? Jealously ebbs when we obsess on ways we can indeed advance, rather than obsessing on the advancement of others.
"...Don’t be timid or bashful Timothy. Don’t be doubtful about your potential, promise and gifts. Rather “…fan into flame [stir into flame] the gift of God [the gain of God] which is in you…” (2 Timothy 1:6).
In my experience, the best way to avoid a low opinion of self is to have a high opinion of Jesus. To be precise: a generous opinion of who we are in Jesus.
To that end, many Christ-followers write out identity statements, itemizing exactly who they are in Jesus. One of the best was penned by Neil Anderson. Listen.
“I am accepted – ‘I am a child of God’ - John 1:12…’I am a friend of Jesus…’ - John 15:15…’I have been bought with a price…’ I Corth. 6:20. I am secure – ‘I am free from condemnation - Romans 8:1-2…I have been…anointed…sealed by God. - 2 Corth. 1:21-22…I have been given…power, love, and a sound mind - 2 Timothy 1:7. I am significant -- I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit -- John 15:16…I am a minister of reconciliation…’ -- 2 Corth.5:17-21…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…” (Philippians 4:13) - Neil T. Anderson, in Victory Over The Darkness, abbreviated and adapted).Wow! And you thought you had to be jealous of others! You don't have to be jealous of others because Jesus is wildly enthusiastic about you.
And so become enthusiastic about you, turning from jealousy, running your own race. To be specific: “….throw off everything that hinders…and run with perseverance the race marked out for [you]…” (Hebrews 12:1). Not the race marked out for your spouse, your co-worker, or your parents. But the race marked out for you. Sadly a lot of us don’t run our race; rather we try to run someone else’s race.
There’s a great story about two Kentucky farmers who were arch rivals. Well at one point they ‘took each other on,’ in a local horse race. But the one farmer was so determined to win he hired a professional jockey. Well the day of the race came, and in spite of the professional jockey – the race got very close. But then right before the last leg of the race, both horses fell, unseating both riders. Well with that the professional jockey got up – scrambled – and remounted as quickly as he could. And bingo – he won; he won the race!
Galloping triumphantly into the winners' circle, the jockey was ecstatic! But then he spied the farmer who had hired him. Why the farmer was furious, ‘jumping up and down,’ kicking himself. “What’s wrong?” asked the jockey. “I won the race!!!” “I know you won the race! But you dummy – you were riding the wrong horse!!!”
Galloping triumphantly into the winners' circle, the jockey was ecstatic! But then he spied the farmer who had hired him. Why the farmer was furious, ‘jumping up and down,’ kicking himself. “What’s wrong?” asked the jockey. “I won the race!!!” “I know you won the race! But you dummy – you were riding the wrong horse!!!”
A lot of us are riding the wrong horse! Sure we’re moving; sure we’re winning some races. But we’re not running the race intended for us.
And what a special race it is, predestined long ago.
And what a special race it is, predestined long ago.
“For we are God's [own] handiwork…” Paul notes in Ephesians 2 “…recreated in Christ Jesus…that we may do [the] good works…God predestined…for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time]…" (Ephesians 2:10, The Amplified Bible).
In 2011, Steve Jobs died, considered by many, the Thomas Edison of our time. It’s interesting: right after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Jobs spoke at Stanford University, about the unique call that is upon each of us.
“No one wants to die…[but death is actually a gift for it reminds us, our time is limited]…so don't waste it living someone else's life…Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important have the courage to follow your [own] heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly [are] to become…”
For a call is indeed upon your life, planted by Almighty God! And so claim your calling, ride your horse, run your race! For God is calling.
Isaiah says it best in Isaiah 49:1
“Before I was born, the Lord called me. From birth He has made mention of my name…He made me into a polished arrow…He said to me, ‘You are my servant…’ (Isaiah 49:1).And why be so jealous, when you are so cherished!
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