I'm So Angry!

Anger.  

A lot of us feel it. Maybe not now, but some point -- soon -- we'll reach a limit, and  'blow a gasket.' 

Of course, there are personal issues that provoke disturbed feelings:  betrayal at work -- broken family relationships -- failing physical bodies -- rocky finances.  

But corporately, as a culture, we're also angry.

This was evident at the recent Golden Globe Awards where disdain and disgust toward sexual abuse reached unprecedented levels.  Many at the event, 'had-had-it,' declaring 'time-up' in marked, determined, heated tones.  As Peter Howell writes, the Golden Globes was a time for "...anger, not celebration..."  

"...a time to rage, not to party.  The Golden Globes are normally seen as the most fun of golden events, sort of the tailgate blowout before the celebrity Super Bowl that is the Oscars...Not this year...The Globes looked liked the most solemn of occasions, with everybody dressed in black as a visual statement of protest...What will...carry over to the Oscars...[is] the growing sense of rage and the determination to end the harassment, unfairness and silence that for too long have been considered the unspoken price to pay for Hollywood stardom. https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/movies/opinion/2018/01/08/all-the-rage-at-golden-globes-oscars-prelude-night-sets-a-furious-tone.html

Actually, scripture applauds such honesty, telling us, through the words of Paul:  you will be angry, “…but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and… [thus] make room for the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, NRSV).

What does that mean, and what are the implications.  A few thoughts:  

1) Don’t Deny You’re ‘Boiling’.  In other words:  don’t deny, you're angry!  Years ago I could always tell a when a colleague was angry:  his jaw would clench and tighten; his eyes would glisten.  And then red blotches would appear all over his neck.  But would he admit he was upset?  No.  In fact, he’d say everything was just fine, as he stuffed his anger.

Do you stuff anger?  God doesn’t want you to do that, for 'stuffing' is not in the best interest of relationships or life.  In fact, as Proverbs 28:23 advises:  “In the end, people appreciate frankness, more than flattery.”  (Proverbs 28:23 NLT).  

2) Behave In Unexpected Ways. Folks expect frankness to be furious.  But Christ-followers are inventive expressing true feelings in surprising and creative fashion.   It’s no secret Winston Churchill and Lady Astor were bitter enemies.  But they were so creative in their insults!  Once while sparring back and forth -- Lady Astor had had enough.  ‘If I was your wife’ – she declared – ‘I’d put arsenic in your tea.’  Not to be outdone, Churchill replied:  ‘And if I were your husband’-- ‘I’d drink it!!”

But there are other inventive ways to engage each other. Proverbs gives some examples.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath -- but a harsh word stirs up anger…”  (Proverbs 15:1).  “If your enemy is hungry give him food to eat.  If he is thirsty, give him water to drink…” (Proverbs 25:21).  

It’s fascinating to see that last example, recorded in biblical history.  Why in 2 Kings 6, Israel’s enemy is fed, not killed.  

“When the king of Israel saw them [the enemy, the captured Arameans] he asked Elisha, “Shall I kill them…do not kill them [Elisha] answered…Set food and water before them…So he prepared a great feast for them, and after they had finished eating and drinking, he sent them away, and they returned to their master.”  (2 Kings 6:21-23).   

Let’s be honest: you can’t do that with every enemy; there are 'Hilters,' and other toxic, unsafe folk.  But some element of surprise can mark every angry situation.  Edwin Stanton, Lincoln’s Secretary of War, was angered by an officer who accused him of favoritism.  Complaining to Lincoln – Lincoln advised Stanton to write the officer a sharp letter. Stanton did just that, showing the strongly worded document to the President.  “What are you going to do with it” – Lincoln inquired.  “Why – I’m going to send it.” Stanton replied. Lincoln just shook his head. “No, you don’t want to send that. Put it in the stove.  That’s what I do with an angry letter.  It’s a good letter, Stanton, and you had a good time writing it, didn’t you?  Now burn it and write another!”

Where do you need to burn an angry letter?   More importantly, where you need to write a second letter:  an honest, but peace building letter, tempered by the forgiveness and humility of Christ? 

3) Realize: Anger Is Close to Danger.  Very close. In fact, its just one letter away from danger. 

I’ve always been humbled by Jesus’ words in Matthew 5.  “You have heard that it was said…‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.  But I tell you, that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment…[and]…in danger of the fire of hell!” (Matthew 5:21-22).    Pretty strong stuff!  But Jesus realizes the acidity of anger, and its ability to burn life.

I love coffee.  But, not Dunkin Donuts coffee, not McDonald's coffee, not Bob Evans coffee.  But real coffee -- Starbucks coffee.  But there are realities about coffee I often don’t admit.  First, it’s hot, very hot; in fact: there’s a warning on every store-bought cup of coffee: it’s hot, very hot.  And second, coffee has acid. I don’t like to think about it, but leave coffee in a cup too long, and it becomes bitter, very bitter.  And on top of that: it stains. 

Anger is a lot like coffee.  It too is hot, very hot; so handle with care. But secondly, it also stains and bites, if it remains too long.  So keep anger moving through your life in constructive ways – progressive ways -- Christ-honoring ways

Or...you'll get stained, bitter and burned.  A sure-fire way to avoid that is to... 

4) Let God ‘Settle the Score.’  Ultimately, the way you manage anger is to give anger to God, letting him right the wrong.  Proverbs 20:22 says it best:  “Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!  Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you!”  (Proverbs 20:22)

Among other things:  God will deliver you from a hostile attitude.  I mean:  when you give things to God  you’re no longer angry, you’re aware, aware of those truly around you.  

An anonymous prayer says it best:  

“Heavenly Father, help me remember that the jerk who cut me off in traffic is a single mom who worked nine hours today, rushing home to cook dinner for her kids…Help me remember that the pierced, tattooed…young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19 year old college student who barely makes ends meet…Help me remember that the old couple moving annoyingly slow in the grocery store…is savoring the moment, because the biopsy report they just got, indicates this will be their last year to shop together…” 

Get the point?  Life is too short and precious for prolonged anger.  So give it to God.  For through God, we can be liberated and made new.  James Harnish tells of a parishioner named Roger.  Approaching Roger one Sunday -- Harnish asked: how’s it going. And Roger replied: “Well Preacher, it’s like this.  I’m not the man I used to be -- and I’m not the man I’d like to be -- but I’m more the man God wants me to be, than ever before!”  (adapted:  James Harnish, Extraordinary Loving for Ordinary Lovers, Sermons from Hyde Park United Methodist Church, Tampa, FL.

Can you say that?  I’m not the person I used to be -- and I’m not the person I’d like to be -- but I’m more the person God wants me to be, than ever before! Say those words and you can be made new.  

For you don’t need to be bound by anger, bitterness or rage.  You can be liberated from anger, bitterness and rage, by the power and healing of Christ Jesus, your Lord!

No, don't misunderstand.  'Golden Globe Moments' need to occur; anger must be present and prevalent.  But anger must not long-linger.  Being angry is different from being bound by anger. The key: keep moving from rage to resolution, reworking, redeeming your emotion into a positive, path forward. 

While hiking across the Gettysburg field best known for Pickett's Charge, I ran across a marker commemorating Lt. Thomas C. Holland.  Seems Holland was one of the few Confederates to make it all the way across the field, to the Union line on Cemetery Ridge.  Moments later, Holland fell to the ground as a bullet pierced his cheek and exited the back of his head.  He was then carried to a Union field hospital and miraculously recovered.  

But the real miracle occurred fifty years later when Holland returned to Gettysburg for the Fiftieth Anniversary of the battle  As he did, Holland returned to the very spot on Cemetery Ridge where he had been injured -- and then did the unthinkable:  Holland shook the hand of the very Union soldier who had shot him! 

Thomas Holland had every reason to be and stay angry for the injury done to him.  But Thomas Holland realized he had everything to gain -- if he released his anger -- and shook hands with a new reality, and a new day.  

Be angry.  But reach forward. Shaking hands with a new reality and a new day!