Tuesday, April 24, 2018

What I've Learned From My Grandson...So Far.


Almost weekly, I hear yet another new grandparent exclaim:  "...there's nothing like it; it's changed my life..."

I'd largely say that is true.  Having my first grandchild has been transformative.

And so, as I approach John's first birthday this summer, I got to thinking: how have I been impacted...what have I learned from this young life?

I'll name some very specific items shortly, but I want to begin with a 'banner headline' -- a marque/neon-sign declaration.

There is a God!

I referenced this in an earlier blog, but I want to push that thought out -- and say even more. http://wwwpaulmundey.blogspot.com/2017/07/there-are-no-atheists-in-birthing-rooms.html

The probability of a human birth occurring, defines any man-made formula.  Why think about it:  for all the genetic codes, body-chemical formulations, and generative circuitry -- to work and mesh and synthesize -- in a holistic, life-giving way -- is more than miraculous -- it is mind-bloggling!! 

Thus, a baby can only be a God-gift, God-made -- pure and simple.

Just the sheer mathematical odds against a human birth, begs the existence of a Creator God.  As Tara MacIsaac reflects...
"...self-help author Mel Robbins said during a 2011 Ted Talk that the likelihood of you, being born, as you, has been calculated at about one in 400 trillion...Dr. Ali Binazir took it further...He looked at the odds of your parents meeting...of forming a long-term relationship, of having kids together, and of the right egg and the right sperm combining to make you. He goes further back to look at the probability of all your ancestors successfully mating, and of all the right sperm meeting all the right eggs to make each one of those ancestors. The conclusion: The odds that you exist at all are basically zero...Buddhists have talked of the preciousness of this incarnation...Imagine [Buddhist's have reflected, that] there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean, and there is exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you came about and exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water—in the middle of that life preserver. On one try.” https://www.theepochtimes.com/scientists-calculate-the-probability-of-your-existence_787114.html
But it's important to note:  not just Buddhist's -- but Christ-followers -- have long believed in the preciousness of our incarnation.

The classic Judeo-Christian reference is, of course, Psalm 139:14 "...I have been fearfully and wondrously made..."   But there are other Judeo-Christian texts referencing the sacredness of life, like an often overlooked text found in the book of Job.

Why, as Job is struggling with the disintegration of his life, Job remembers the one who has indeed authored his life -- petitioning for God's continued creative power.  
"...Your hands fashioned and made me, and now you have destroyed me altogether. Remember that you have made me like clay; and will you return me to the dust? Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews. You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit...." (emphasis added) – Job 10:8-12
In any event, in the beginning, and throughout life, God is a fashioning life, granting life, with preserving, knitting power.  

Well, now back to John, specifically -- and what I have learned from this carefully crafted, Creator's child.

1) I've Learned -- Just When You Think Life Is 'Bad,' You Rediscover, Live Is, 'Good'!  A major temptation of aging, is a growing cynicism that the odds are against you, and its all for naught now.  

But then a baby is born, and you're apprehended by something incredibly delightful, joyous, promising and yes, unmistakably good. 

In fact, I've never seen a person not happy in the presence of a baby.  Why it's as if a 'spell' comes over each of us -- for the better -- and the sour of life is sweetened.  

Recently, I've asked why this is.  I think it because a baby represents unparalleled acceptance, undeniable joy, and unconditional love.   In a world where judgment, criticism, lack of recognition, rejection, uncertainty, problems, challenge, and dread are all too common -- a baby apprehends us -- coming into our midst with an aura of promise -- even spirituality.  

It's as if we are transported to another era -- a more innocent time -- life as it was meant to be --  and we can't escape it.  

Why, new life is right before our eyes -- cooing -- smiling -- drooling -- restless -- even crying.  Radically different from anything else we've experienced all day.

And it is good.  

But there's more...

2) I've Learned -- That Play Is Not An Optional Part Of Life, It's Key To The Growth Of Life.  I said I'd never do it.  But I am making faces, acting silly, scrambling on the floor -- constantly -- in the presence of my grandson, John!  

But it's not just me.  All of the grandparents and relatives and friends are doing it.  Instinctively.  Willingly.  Without reservations.

It's as if John brings out the best in all of us -- as we discover a new level of vulnerability -- and humanness -- through play.  

Now, many know this is 'not me.'  Traditionally, I am 'uptight,' and 'play little,'   But John is helping me to 'play more,' and I believe the Lord is pleased.

For play, and a sense of 'at ease,' are central to restoration.

Most know the passage "...a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones..."  (Proverbs 17:22).  But an unfamiliar verse related to play and ease is God's picture of the restoration of Zion (e.g., the people of Israel):  
 "...Thus says the Lord: I have returned to Zion and will dwell in the midst of Jerusalem...Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem...And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets. Thus says the Lord of hosts...it...should it...be marvelous in my sight..." (Zechariah 8:3-6, emphasis added) 
Stuart Brown, an expert on play, believes play is more than fun, but, indeed key to our restoration.  In a TED talk, Brown outlined five broad categories of play:
"Rough-and-Tumble Play...tug-of-war, capture the flag, scavenger hunts, kickball...[through  which] we develop emotional regulation as well as cognitive, emotional, and physical mastery...
Ritual Play...chess, board games...[through which, we develop the ability to] create, strategize, design, and engage in activities that bring people together for a common purpose or goal...
Imaginative Play...coloring, storytelling, painting, drawing, crafting, and acting...[through which, we develop our creativity and ability to dream]...
Body Play...yoga...hiking, whitewater rafting, riding roller coasters, mountain climbing, surfing, and snorkeling...[through which, we develop our physical prowness]...
Object Play...building with Legos...building fortresses, and can even have snowball fights...[through which we develop our dexterity and agility and precision]...." https://wanderlust.com/journal/the-importance-of-play-in-adulthood/
So, thanks John, for moving me in all these directions.  Yes, I am having fun, but I am also restoring my soul.  

But there's more...

3) I've Learned -- That Life Not Only Continues In Heaven, But Also, On Earth.  Recently, I wrote a well-received blog on eternal life.  It's premise: life does go on beyond this realm, in the realm of eternity and heaven.  I believe that.  

But my grandson John reminds me that life continues here on earth, as well, through the next generation.

To blunt, I am so arrogant as a baby-boomer, sometimes, that I think my/our generation will last forever.  I/we forget there are other generations in addition to me/us.  And that my/our generation will not last forever, on earth.  In fact, as John F. Kennedy famously reminded baby-boomers in his 1961 inaugural address, there comes a time, when the torch needs to be passed to a new generation.

John represents the newest generation.  And so, I am humbled to know, and increasingly comforted, that I and my generation do not need to do it all -- but can look to additional generations -- including John's infant generation -- to continue the great work of God, on earth.  

So, I am accepting a new role, a mentoring role, rather than just driving myself, as before. Sure, I will continue to be active and productive, but an increasing part of that routine will be stewarding my gifts to other generations; passing the torch, over time.

Paul modeled such a task in his relationship with Timothy:   
"...Paul, an apostle of Christ…To Timothy, my dear son…I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did...I constantly remember you in my prayers…I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also…For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  (2 Timothy 1:1-7).
A last learning...

4) I've Learned -- Being A Grandfather Is A Noble And Needed Role.   Paul just suggested that it takes a group of folk, to raise and form a child.  But not only the involvement of friends and mentors (like Paul), but also the presence and witness of immediate family, e.g. Timothy's grandmother Lois, his mother Eunice, and others.

Some know, I am currently finishing up a clinical certificate in Bowen Family Systems Theory at Rutgers University.  And as I do, I am continually reminded that our family of origin -- our extended family system -- is critical to our outcome as an adult human being.  

My grandson John, also reminds me of that.  For he is named not for one -- but -- two of his grandfathers:  reflected in both first and middle name.  Why?  Because of the impact of each of those patriarchs on our daughter and son-in-law.

And so, while I'd like to think that Robin and I had the dominant impact on our kids -- in reality -- numerous persons in our family system affected our kids.

But it gets better:  I now have a new role as well -- as a grandfather -- to impact John, and perhaps others, who come within my immediate, relational world!  

And so a whole new season has opened up for me -- as a grandfather -- that is not optional, but essential to the development of my grandson.  

As I continue to enter into this new era, I am reminded of the hopeful words of Prophet Joel:
"...I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days. I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth,  (Joel 2:28-30).
My grandson John is quite a wonder!  

But his presence is to spark wonder in all of us -- along with new life -- and new purpose.

For at any age -- if we are attentive -- the Spirit is still pouring out fresh dream and vision.

Perhaps, it's not being a grandfather or grandmother.  But I can assure you some new, noble, needed role, awaits you -- as well!  

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