Stinkin' Thinkin'

Yesterday, I was approached by a street-merchant, trying to sell me a carriage tour of Charleston, S.C.

One problem, I didn't want a carriage tour of Charleston.  I just wanted to get to my restaurant and eat.  But the guy wouldn't let up, pursuing me into a nearby tourist center. In fact, he got 'in my face,' and just kept jabbering on -- pushing, pushing, me -- to buy.

And with that, I snapped: "I don't want to talk to you!"

Well, things spiraled-down, fast, after that.  The details aren't important, but as my wife Robin observed:  we both developed quite an attitude -- as in edgy, competitive, obstinate, tone and talk!

Well, thankfully, I eventually 'got sane,' and walked away.  But not before creating 'a scene' that I'm not particularly proud of.

But Robin's comment, got me thinking.  Our attitude always shows up.  But in one form or the other.   Either obstinate or open.

Yes, open to a more pro-active, hopeful approach to life's challenges and interruptions, rather than a sour, downward spirit and spiral.

At the church where Robin plays organ, one of the world's most prominent orthopedic surgeons is a regular attender.  A few weeks ago, I asked how he was doing, as a doctor, with his own medical challenges.  In a word: they were severe, numerous; a pain.  But he quickly added:  his ability to manage them, was directly connected to one thing:  his attitude.  

"What do you mean?," I quickly inquired.  I mean, surely for a world-renowned surgeon, a path forward was more sophisticated than attitude.  Nope, he chimed in; it was as simple (though not simplistic) as attitude.  And then he commenced to tell a bevy of stories about past patients, who came to him with a crummy (e.g. obnoxious) attitude, e.g. with unrealistic, narcissistic demands.  Inevitably, each of those persons left his office, more despairing and depressed than ever.

Though the notion of attitude adjustment smacks of a self-help or prosperity gospel, it is actually core to allowing the Gospel to take root in our lives.  For without an adjusted, open, godly spirit, our spirit becomes toxic, not able to receive the health of Jesus.

It's striking that one of Jesus' most passionate followers, the Apostle Paul, connects attitude (generated by thought-process), with an effective experience of peace.  

"...Delight yourselves in God, yes, find your joy in him at all times...Tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer...Fix your minds on the things which are holy and right and pure and beautiful and good...And you will find the God of peace will be with you.  (Philippians 4:4-9, Phillips, emphasis added).

And so, what are you fixing your mind on?  Your problem or your potential? Your dilemma or your break-through?  Your challenge or the Christ who reworks even bad, into something good?

For you do have an attitude -- but what is it?

In addition to the orthopedic surgeon mentioned earlier, another attender at the church where Robin plays organ is Rebecca Gallli.  Last year Becky released a deeply personal, poignant memoir entitled Rethinking Possible.  As promotional materials for the book, advertise:

"....Becky Galli was born into a family that valued the power of having a plan...But when her brother, only seventeen, died in a water skiing accident, the slow unraveling of her perfect family began. Though grief overwhelmed the family, twenty-year-old Galli forged onward with her life plans--marriage, career, and raising a family of her own--one she hoped would be as idyllic as the family she once knew. But life had less than ideal plans in store. There was her son's degenerative, undiagnosed disease and subsequent death; followed by her daughter's autism diagnosis; her separation; and then, nine days after the divorce was final, the onset of the transverse myelitis that would leave Galli paralyzed from the waist down. Despite such unspeakable tragedy, Galli maintained her belief in family, in faith, in loving unconditionally, and in learning to not only accept, but also embrace a life that had veered down a path far different from the one she had envisioned. At once heartbreaking and inspiring, Rethinking Possible is a story about the power of love over loss and the choices we all make that shape our lives -- especially when forced to confront the unimaginable..."

I have the privilege of knowing Becky Galli.  She is the 'real deal,' combining unflinching honesty, and realism with a continuing conviction in volition, in the power of "...the choices we all make that shape our lives -- especially when forced to confront the unimaginable..."

Though Becky (along with me) steers clear of a syrupy, 'quick fix,' 'power of positive thinking' approaches -- I believe she'd affirm, that one of the choices we make daily, is our choice of attitude. For as the title of her book attests, the way forward is found as we rethink possible.  

In other words, as we "...fix [our] minds on the things which are holy and right and pure and beautiful and good..."  (Philippians 4:8) -- or in the fresh rendering of Eugene Peterson, as we fill:

"...[our] minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse  (Philippians 4:8, The Message).

Right after confronting the street-merchant named above, I made it to my intended restaurant.  But not just any restaurant, but Hymans restaurant, one of Charleston, S.C.'s most famed culnary delights.   For going to Hymans is not just an eating experience it is an adventure, marked by some of the most amazing hospitality I have ever experienced.

I mean, a member of the Hyman's team meets you on the sidewalk, before you even enter the restaurant, and assigns you a prime table.  Then, as you are ushered to your table, not one, but at least two greeters reach out, and move you along with joy.  Then your waitress's (or waiter) appears and immediately offers you not only a menu, but a free appetizer.

But it gets even better.  In less than 15 minutes one of the owners of the restaurant appears, in our case Eli Hyman, just beaming with appreciation that you have chosen to frequent his restaurant.  "Where are you from?  Is there anything I can do for you?  Please, if you have any complaint, come directly to me; we want to make it right.  I really mean it," Eli concluded.

Afterwords, as the waitress approached, I asked:  "Was he really the owner?  Yes.  "I've never been in a restaurant where the owner came to my table?  Is this the 'real deal' or some gimmick?"  No gimmick the waitress quickly added.  We genuinely care and want you to have a great experience.  And yes, the owners are here every day, and mean what they say.

I was still in disbelief, that anyone, let alone the owner of a restaurant, would be that welcoming -- exhibiting that joyous of an approach.  But then -- in the bathroom, of all places -- I picked up a little card (pictured above) that actually is found throughout the restaurant.  It's title: "Hyman's Seafood Motto."  In part, it read:

"...The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it with you...we are in charge of our attitudes..."  by Chuck Swindol.  

The card then ends with this disclosure:  "We hire our staff based on this motto."

No wonder, I had the experience I did at Hymans!  Their entire corporate culture is shaped by an emphasis on attitude.  But not just any attitude, but an attitude of authentic openness and hospitality to whoever and whatever enters the doors of their establishment.

That reminds me of yet another restaurant closer to home:  The Inn at Little Washington, in Washington, VA.  There, the corporate culture prompts every wait staff member to privately assign a number to every guest entering their doors, with low numbers representing low spirits -- and high numbers representing high spirits.  The goal of every wait staff member is to raise the 'number' of each guest to a new level.  For example, if a patron enters 'down in the dumps' at a '4' -- the wait staff might offer a free desert, for example, to try to raise the his/her spirit/attitude to a '6' or '7.'

Imagine, what would happen if we did the same for each other!  Why, attitudes would soar, increasingly.

But if we're attentive, the good Lord, in fact, does offer a spirit/attitude adjustment every day.  Oh, He doesn't offer a free desert, but the Father of us all, does offer blessings, unceasing, and frequent.  I love the way the writer of Lamentations, affirms such bounty -- but -- acknowledging our tendency to wallow in a bad spirit/attitude:

"...I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him...”   Lamentations 3:19-24, emphasis added.

And so I resolve to call to mind, more frequently, the Lord's bounty as a boost to my spirit/attitude. For too often, my wandering, the bitterness the gall, win over.  Not only on the streets of Charleston, SC, but elsewhere as I snap and spiral downward.

But God wants to save, when I snap.  God wants to rescue, when I spiral downward.

For if I am attentive, in spite of my downcast, I needn't be consumed by a stinky spirit.  In fact, I can be fed.  For "....because of the Lord's great love...his compassion's never fail.  They are new every morning; great is they faithfulness..."  (Lamentations 3:23).

Thus, I will 'press the pause button' before I snap.  I will wait.

For the Lord knows I am at a '4.'  But the Lord is ready to bolster me to a '6' or '7' -- or even more!

For the words of Jude are accurate and true.

Our Father God is not just any God, but a God...

"...who can keep you on your feet, standing tall in his bright presence -- fresh and celebrating... 

[Thus] to our one God, our only Savior, through Jesus Christ, our Master, be glory, majesty, strength, and rule before all time, and now, and to the end of all time. Yes..."   Jude 24-25, The Message, emphasis added.