Transformation: Staying Faithful, In A 'Sexy' World

Sex is on my mind.

But not for the reason/s, you might think.

It started on Sunday. First, at lunch, new friends revealed that the marriages of two lay-leaders at their church had collapsed, because of adultery. Second, when I got home, I discovered a New York Times story that documented that a prime mentor of mine, had groped his executive assistant, on more than one occasion. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/05/us/bill-hybels-willow-creek-pat-baranowski.html

What is going on?

Actually, nothing new. Sexual temptation and sin are as old as the ages. And if we are honest, most of us will struggle with it at some point, in our life and career.

I got 'wind of this' early in life while sitting in Lloyd Semler's barbershop. Now you've got to understand, Lloyd's barber shop was where 'the men of Halfway, MD' (my hometown) gathered. And boy did we gather: drinking Cokes, swapping stories, and reading Field and Stream magazine.

But periodically, a strange thing happened. One of ‘the men of Halfway’ would go to the Coke machine and not get a Coke; rather he’d reach on top, wink at Lloyd – and get another magazine. Then he’d slip the magazine into a newspaper and go back to his seat – but always with a great big smile on his face. “Man I said to myself, that must be a really good issue of Field and Stream!” But one day, Dad ‘burst my bubble.’ “Paul that wasn’t Field and Stream at all. That was Playboy!” I was shocked: “Playboy in Halfway; little, conservative, innocent Halfway?! I couldn’t believe it!

A lot of us can’t believe it. Oh, not regarding Playboy; that’s 'little or nothing now' in regards to sexual disclosure. But there are oodles of other expressions of sexual disclosure, most prominently on the Internet. It is now estimated, for example, that Internet porn sites attract more visitors each month than Amazon, Netflix, and Twitter combined. The result? Greater sexual disclosure and seduction than ever before. I mean, even beyond the Internet, we’re literally surrounded, bombarded, by alluring images, every day.

Biblical folks were also bombarded. I think that’s why the book of Proverbs speaks so often of seduction and sexual sin. But here’s the critical part: Proverbs also speaks of overcoming seduction and sexual sin.

Yes, temptation is all around, but there are ways to resist temptation -- remaining faithful and pure.

Now that’s intriguing, given our temptation. So let’s dive in, discovering ways we can resist the seductive parts of life. For starters...

Dispel The Myth of Greener Grass.

In other words...don’t believe that life is always better someplace else with some other person or circumstance.

“Drink water from your own cistern. Running water from your own well…May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth…” (Proverbs 5:18).

It’s amazing how many of us don’t rejoice in our spouse, or any current circumstance. I mean we’re never satisfied, always believing ‘the grass is greener’ someplace else.

The story is told of a man who wasn’t satisfied with his house; I mean he was convinced there was a better house. And so he went to his real estate agent and declared: “Advertise and sell my house. “I’m after a better house.” And so off he went, looking for a better house. Well finally he found it; scouring the classified ads there it was: the perfect abode! Why there wasn’t even a picture or an address, but the description said it all: that’s the house for me! Approaching his real estate agent, he was ecstatic: “make plans for me to visit that house.” Well, with that the real estate agent became nervous. “Why certainly sir, we can do that. But there’s one problem. The house you want to visit, the house you saw advertised: that’s your house!”

We assume happiness is found someplace else. But happiness, in reality, is already within our grasp. Robert Fulgram says it best:

“The grass is not…always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it! The grass is greenest where it is watered…”

And so, are you watering your current relationships and circumstance?

But temptation is curbed in yet other ways...

Avoid ‘Any And All’ Secrets.

Researchers have found a direct connection between sin and secrecy; in other words, many do wrong, because they’re convinced they can hide wrong.

But don’t be deceived: sin cannot be hidden. Someone is watching all the time. Proverbs names a prime observer:

“For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths…” (Proverbs 5:21).

Now, frankly, such reality can prompt two reactions: we can become paranoid fearing God’s awareness. Or, we can become convicted utilizing God’s awareness, to fashion self-awareness, banishing the secrets of life.

A few years ago a popular movie came out called City Slickers. Well in it Mitch Robbins, alias Billy Crystal and two of his city-slicker friends wrestle with a mid-life crisis, heading West. Well in one scene, they’re on horseback – and one of the men Ed, asks Mitch if he’d ever considered cheating on his wife Barbara -- if he knew Barbara would never find out.

'Imagine a spaceship lands on earth,' Ed notes, 'and out walks the most beautiful woman in the universe. And the most beautiful woman in the universe wants to be intimate with you. And the second the intimacy is over she flies off, forever! No one knows, including Barbara! You’re telling me you wouldn’t do it?' 'No, Ed,' Mitch responds: 'I wouldn’t do it.' 'You see Ed, it wouldn’t make any difference if Barbara didn’t know. You see: I’d know, and I wouldn’t like myself.'

That’s the ultimate goal of God’s watchful eye. That we develop a watchful eye, gaining a heightened sense of conscience. Andrew Wyeth is right:

“To know myself…especially…to know the plague of my own heart is the…only key to all other…knowledge.”

I pray we heed that truth, for...

Remember Unresolved Sin Chokes and Deadens.

At least that’s the inference of Proverbs 5:22.

“The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sins hold him fast….”

For 22 years we've struggled with the same problem in the flower beds and shrubbery around our house: reoccurring, insidious weed-vines. Unlike regular weeds, weed-vines literally entangle around everything, causing great difficulty, and potential stifling of growth. Frankly, weed-vines are incredibly difficult to remove, but for 22 years we've worked relentlessly to remove them, nevertheless. For we know, that if not removed, entangling vines eventually ensnare -- messing up the growth pattern of our flowers and shrubby.

Unresolved sin, including sexual sin, is like the vines in our bushes: it entangles and eventually ensnares -- messing up the growth pattern of life. And so we also need to work relentlessly, nevertheless, to remove their insidious pattern.

You do that frankly as you get wrapped in an alternative reality. Specifically as you...

Wrap Yourself In God And God Alone.

You see sin, including sexual sin is ultimately resolved as we’re bound by a new essence and a new discipline – the purity and purpose of God.

The concluding verse of Proverbs 5 tells us what happens when discipline is absent:

“…the wicked…will perish for want of discipline, wrapped in the shroud of his own folly.” (Proverbs 5:23, NEV).

But the beginning verse of Proverbs 5 tells us what happens when discipline is present, specifically discipline toward God.

“Dear friend: pay…attention to…my wisdom, listen…very closely to the way I see it…[for] what I tell you, will keep you -- out of trouble.” (Proverbs 5:1-2, The Message).

Isn't that what you want: to stay out of trouble? Well, it’s possible if we’re wrapped in the right thing -- choosing the robe of Christ, not the shroud of sin – God’s purity, not a foreign path.

Frankly, such choice is apparent -- if -- you consider the consequences.

Once Randy Alcorn, a prominent Christian author, did just that. He listed the consequences as he was tempted toward sexual sin. Yes – I can give in to this urge, but if I do:

"...I will inflict untold hurt on Nanci, my loyal wife; I will bring embarrassment to my family and friends; I will create a form of guilt that is hard to shake; I will form memories and flashbacks that could plague future intimacy; I will heap endless difficulty on the person I committed adultery with; I will possibly bear physical consequences such as gonorrhea or AIDS; I will bring pleasure to Satan, the enemy of God….but I will grieve the Lord who redeemed me..." (adapted: Leadership Journal, Winter, 1988).

Such consequences are not meant to depress you, but to motivate you to choose God and God alone. Choose God, and God alone -- and his righteous path.

Marti Ensign tells of hosting a group of African pastors at a conference. During their free time, the Africans wanted to go shopping, so Marti gave them her phone number, in case they got lost; after all this was their first trip to a large city and the U.S.

Sure enough, in less than an hour, the phone rang and an African pastor declared: “We’re lost!” “Don’t worry,” Marti said: ‘Lay the phone down, go to the street corner, and find out the names of the two streets at the corner. Then come back and tell me, and I’ll come and get you.

And so the African pastor did just that. Returning he was very proud of himself! “I found out where we are!” he said. “Where’s that” Marti asked. “We’re at the corner of ‘Walk’ and ‘Don’t Walk.”

We’re at the same intersection: the corner of walk and don’t walk. Move with God at His command and find life. Move willfully, independently and find the traffic of sin.

Move with God, at His command. Don’t risk the traffic of sin. Choose purity over some foreign path.

For there are all kinds of places, to get in trouble these days.  Not just Lloyd’s barber shop: but on the Internet, around the water cooler at work...

Temptation, especially sexual temptation, is more prevalent than ever before.

But God’s Word is stronger than ever before.

So get tangled up with Him -- and not the weed-vine of sin.